As incredible as it is living in the city of lights (even though its raining like crazy this week!), there are ups and downs just like living anywhere else in the world. As you know, I started my internship in a prestigious Paris patisserie last week. I was so excited and nervous but once I met everyone there I was feeling pretty positive about the whole thing! After about a week now, I feel actually awful. It has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. I thought an office job was tough, personal trainers were intense and event planning involved multi-tasking. Pastry kitchens are all those things, combined, times ten and on crack!!
Six days a week, rising before the sun is up, riding the metro and all I can think about it: "don't eff up as many times today!". I feel out of sorts, incredibly stressed, buried by pressure. I am soo far out of my comfort zone and I have had to mentally talk myself out of breaking down in tears at least three times this week. Ugh! The rational side of me says: "Okay, just chill out! This is all a normal part of the learning process and I'm sure they have dealt with worse interns. The point is the learn as much as you can from these people and it is better to make mistakes now so you don't make them later." but the emotional side of my just wants to crawl into a hole and hide and maybe not return to the kitchen.
The thing is that I know I am talented in pastry and I love doing it but my five months of training is having a hard time keeping up with these men who have been working in this business for 8+ years! I really hope it gets better. I really, really hope so.
Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it..yet! Tomorrow is also Bastille Day here in France which means I get to watch fireworks go off behind the Eiffel Tower sooo at least tomorrow will be a good day post-work! :)
my parents made me nerd out in front of the shop when we went for breakfast