we're not in Kansas anymore...

Truth be told, I feel like Dorothy right now. I don't want to get too down into the details here because blogging is for happy people but the truth is that sometimes life isn't all rainbows and butterflies like the internet makes it seem sometimes. I know all you bloggers out there know what I'm talking about. We write and share all the great, beautiful and exciting moments of life but the reality is...we are just like everyone else with struggles and some straight baggage! Right?

As incredible as it is living in the city of lights (even though its raining like crazy this week!), there are ups and downs just like living anywhere else in the world. As you know, I started my internship in a prestigious Paris patisserie last week. I was so excited and nervous but once I met everyone there I was feeling pretty positive about the whole thing! After about a week now, I feel actually awful. It has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. I thought an office job was tough, personal trainers were intense and event planning involved multi-tasking. Pastry kitchens are all those things, combined, times ten and on crack!!

Six days a week, rising before the sun is up, riding the metro and all I can think about it: "don't eff up as many times today!". I feel out of sorts, incredibly stressed, buried by pressure. I am soo far out of my comfort zone and I have had to mentally talk myself out of breaking down in tears at least three times this week. Ugh! The rational side of me says: "Okay, just chill out! This is all a normal part of the learning process and I'm sure they have dealt with worse interns. The point is the learn as much as you can from these people and it is better to make mistakes now so you don't make them later." but the emotional side of my just wants to crawl into a hole and hide and maybe not return to the kitchen.

The thing is that I know I am talented in pastry and I love doing it but my five months of training is having a hard time keeping up with these men who have been working in this business for 8+ years! I really hope it gets better. I really, really hope so.

Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it..yet! Tomorrow is also Bastille Day here in France which means I get to watch fireworks go off behind the Eiffel Tower sooo at least tomorrow will be a good day post-work! :)

my parents made me nerd out in front of the shop when we went for breakfast 


  1. Hang in there. Part of learning is making mistakes! You can so do this:)

  2. aww i'm sorry things will get better its only your first week you will fall into it soon. Although its hard try and be postive i find the more i think i'm going to screw up the more i do lol

  3. I was thinking about this post today (I'm a horrible commenter, great blog stalker haha!) I moved to ireland about 2 1/2 years ago and started my first job about 2 years ago. I for some stupid reason thought that because it was an english speaking country that I would have no problem blending in and things would pretty much be the same, just more potatos (HAH!). Boy was I wrong! My first day of work (cashier in a petrol station, oh the glamour. Those two college degress really paid off moving overseas!) I was soooo overwhelmed. I couldn't understand anyone's accents, the slang, and nevermind about trying to quickly figure out how to give back correct change. Why can't these people use quarters?!? WHY?!? It is a tough game working in a foreign country....enough tougher when you don't speak the language and you are expected to be on your toes at hell o'clock in the morning! You are doing good and I'm sure your co-workers understand (maybe deep deep down inside haha!) that its not easy being thrown in the deep end, in another language! Best of luck and I hope your days start going easier! (btw, I used to work in a bakery through college and it was my BEST job ever. I still think back to those days and wish i still worked there. :) )


Merci Beaucoup!