Update: Internship

I've now completed my third week at work, time is flying already! After my first week I posted this little doozy of a post. I was feeling really overwhelmed, frustrated, alone and just straight exhausted. The exhausted part hasn't change that much but everything else has gotten so much better. It was as if one day I walked in and it just all made sense. I fell into the flow of the kitchen and finally organized all the little bis of information in my mind and I have been enjoying it ever since. I guess I just had to pass through the learning curve.

The hours are pretty tough because like I told you, I am not the best morning person. If you ask Mike or my parents they would probably just roll their eyes at my ridiculous need for sleep. So when my alarm goes off at 5 or 6 am all I want to do is throw my phone against the wall and stay all snuggled up in my bed. By the way, you know what is better than coffee? Riding a bike 20 minutes to work in the dark and sometimes sketchy streets of Paris. Now THAT will wake you up.

And I know what your thinking. This girl can ride a bike?! Yes, its true. I have become a master. Surprising, I know!

So the verdict is that this internship will be great. I am so thankful that I don't want to pull my hair out or cry everyday like I did at the beginning. Things are looking up! It is also pretty cool to go into the store front and see something that I made sitting in the counter with a 23 euro price tag on it.

Here are some of the things that come out of our kitchen each day...

we're not in Kansas anymore...

Truth be told, I feel like Dorothy right now. I don't want to get too down into the details here because blogging is for happy people but the truth is that sometimes life isn't all rainbows and butterflies like the internet makes it seem sometimes. I know all you bloggers out there know what I'm talking about. We write and share all the great, beautiful and exciting moments of life but the reality is...we are just like everyone else with struggles and some straight baggage! Right?

As incredible as it is living in the city of lights (even though its raining like crazy this week!), there are ups and downs just like living anywhere else in the world. As you know, I started my internship in a prestigious Paris patisserie last week. I was so excited and nervous but once I met everyone there I was feeling pretty positive about the whole thing! After about a week now, I feel actually awful. It has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. I thought an office job was tough, personal trainers were intense and event planning involved multi-tasking. Pastry kitchens are all those things, combined, times ten and on crack!!

Six days a week, rising before the sun is up, riding the metro and all I can think about it: "don't eff up as many times today!". I feel out of sorts, incredibly stressed, buried by pressure. I am soo far out of my comfort zone and I have had to mentally talk myself out of breaking down in tears at least three times this week. Ugh! The rational side of me says: "Okay, just chill out! This is all a normal part of the learning process and I'm sure they have dealt with worse interns. The point is the learn as much as you can from these people and it is better to make mistakes now so you don't make them later." but the emotional side of my just wants to crawl into a hole and hide and maybe not return to the kitchen.

The thing is that I know I am talented in pastry and I love doing it but my five months of training is having a hard time keeping up with these men who have been working in this business for 8+ years! I really hope it gets better. I really, really hope so.

Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it..yet! Tomorrow is also Bastille Day here in France which means I get to watch fireworks go off behind the Eiffel Tower sooo at least tomorrow will be a good day post-work! :)

my parents made me nerd out in front of the shop when we went for breakfast 

Internship: Week 1

Holy Cheezussss! I am SO tired! I had my first week at my "stage"/internship and I feel like I have been running a marathon each day! Most important thing, I love it! I really enjoy it and am so happy that it turned out that way.

Secondly, working in a kitchen is definitely the most intense job I have ever had. These chef's don't tolerate casualness, slow work, idleness...you better know your shit or they are going to ruin you. The very first hour I was there I was already making apricot and peach tarts and was pretty much expected to fall right into line. It's great because I would much rather be thrown into the fire than stuck folding boxes or doing dishes but its pretty overwhelming. I get home from work (after waking up at 5 am!) and feel like I've been taking the SAT for 8 hours, while standing and speaking a different language. I went all "I'm 80 years old" the night after my first day and fell asleep at the ripe old hour of 8 pm. Whhaaat?

Phew! Anyway, I am lucky that I negotiated this weekend off since my brother is here visiting (otherwise I would be at work the next two days at 6 am). I am really excited to hang with him and his friends before he heads back to Cali. He should be here within the hour! I hope you all have an amazing weekend! Sending out lots of love from Paris!

xo.