moving is making me unstable

4 days and I will be walking through LAX to meet my family, Mike, little Tay and Manda. I can't believe it. I've said it before, but its true.

The past week has been crazy. This move has got me feeling like an unstable person. There are all kinds of emotions going on in my life.

view from Pere Lachaise cemetery

In a given day I feel...

HAPPY to go home and see my friends and family
SAD to leave the friends I've made here

HAPPY to be back to the comforts of home
SAD to leave my little Parisian flat

HAPPY to have had this amazing experience
SAD that it is over

HAPPY to start a new future
SAD that the economy is trying to ruin my life and keep me unemployed forever

HAPPY to know that in-n-out in waiting for me
SAD that i won't be able to have pain chocolat and crepes anytime i want

Its a roller coaster to say the least. I'm trying my best to stay calm and reasonable. Any tips on how not to lose it?

And I can't leave this post without wishing a HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my amazing father! He is a great reason to be excited to come home. I can't wait to see you Dad! Joyeux Anniversaire!

The list: America.

So, a week from tomorrow I will be boarding my flight to LAX. Weird.

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Of course I'm excited to be home for the holidays and see my friends and family that I have missed so much but ...how do you leave Paris? I haven't figured it out yet.

So, in the spirit of trying to get myself fired up for life back in America. Here is the other part of the list.

Things I am excited for in America.

In-n-Out (its already been established we are going here on the way home from the airport)

Target and being able to get everything I need in one place..instead of ten.

Fish tacos...all mexican food for that matter.

Warmth! Its still 70 and sunny back home. Since I've been living in about 35 degrees everyday I am pretty sure I am going to pass out from heat stroke.

Being able to communicate without a problem. No more charades necessary.

Customer service

A gym membership

The ocean and my rainbow sandals

Pampering..I already have a brow, facial and mani/pedi appointment scheduled.

Visiting San Diego

The possibility of the future

Vacation in Mexico with my family

The new life adventure in Colorado

And of course catching up with everyone from home and spending every minute with this little girl

The List: Paris.

Judge me if you want but I love making lists. They keep me organized and I love being able to cross things off them.

So, naturally I made a list of things I am going to miss about Paris and things I will be happy never to experience again and also what I am most excited for back in the good old USA.

Wanna know?? Here is the Paris List.

Things I will NOT miss about Paris:

The smell of PEE. everywhere.

Being confused 90% of the time. Ooh la la, French.

Freezing. All the time.

Being stared at for no reason.

The Parisians. They are a depressed, angry group of people. Just Parisians. Other French people are awesome.

Paying 6 euros for the world's worst cup of coffee.

French banks.

Being worried about people trying to steal my things all the time!

Everything being so small. It's like living in a miniature world.

My laundry taking 2 and a half hours for a normal cycle and then taking two days to hand dry. wtf France..really??

That's not sooo bad..right? Now for the positive!

Things I will miss most about Paris:

The FOOD! Bread, cheese, butter, pastries, wine, paté...all these things will never be the same for me. Ever. I will miss it dearly. This move might be good for my waistline though.

The buildings and architecture. This city is beautiful. Gorgeous. Romantic. Just an average building on any given street can be breathtaking. I will miss walking around and admiring the city and the feel of Paris.

The Seine. I love this river. I will miss running along it and having picnics with friends. I will miss taking photos of it every time I cross it. Its lovely.

The BIG city. I never thought I would love living in a city (Paris is the first city I've ever lived in) but turns out that I love it! It feels good to get out of the city from time to time but I really enjoy the energy and the endless amount of places to explore. You could live here your whole life and never know Paris completely.

The restaurant and culinary scene. The French take their food very seriously. Everything is FRESH and well prepared. The chefs are educated and truly love what they do. I will miss exploring new wine bars, restaurants and pastry shops whenever I want to. I will miss the big outdoor markets that are selling really fresh and wholesome produce. I love feeling like I am part of an industry scene here.

The Eiffel. No denying it. I love eiffel. Its beautiful and breathtaking from all angles. I will miss being able to see it whenever I want to and sometimes when I'm not even trying to.

The ability to travel. Its Europe's best perk.

The street food. Crepes, falafel, sandwiches...yum.

The inspiration that Paris gives to its people. I hope this feeling stays with me. I feel like anything is possible and I have Paris to thank for that.

Paris, je taime.

An afternoon in Versailles

Today is the first day of the end of Paris. Last night I celebrated the end of my internship at Sébastien Gaudard's Patisserie des Martyrs. I can't believe it's over.

Naturally, this has got me reminiscing about the past year and everything I have done and experienced. The incredible people I have met and grown to call friends. I feel SO lucky to have gained this experience and these beautiful memories that I will have the rest of my life.

Of course there are things I might have done a little differently. Especially, I would have learned French BEFORE coming here! But I wouldn't change my experience. Paris will always be mine. It will stay with me forever. Just as Hemingway said...

While looking back on the year I found these photos that made my heart smile. The beautiful weather of Spring in Paris and a great afternoon with friends making a fun meal in Versailles.

As you (may or may not) know, our pastry group comes from all around the world. We made an international lunch and it was delicious! We had French, Brazilian, Vietnamese, American..all kinds of delicious things! 

I will miss times like this and I hope to keep in touch with these wonderful people I have met here and grown to consider my "Paris Family". Unfortunately, the time has come to go our separate ways but I will cherish these memories. C'est la vie. 

How far we've come

Hi friends! Please forgive my lack of posting here in the coming weeks. I am in the process of getting ready to move my life back across the world to the US! Only two more weeks left in Paris. 

It is really crazy that we are already here. We've come full circle. 

The best thing about it is, I get to have hot cocoa all the time and nobody can judge me. French hot cocoa is the best you will ever have. So thick is coats your spoons. Basically melted chocolate bars.

A health food, obviously.

Thankful Thoughts Vol. 5: Friends

Before I get started I have to admit to you that I am writing this while I am sitting on the ground in my apartment literally right next to my heater. I can't move from this spot or I will turn into a frozen person and perish. Oh, Paris.

So, moving abroad has made me think long and hard about a lot of things in my life and about the world the live in. Friendship has been one of the biggest. Moving away from all your friends will really show you who is true and who maybe is not. Not that these people are bad but the truth is that people grow apart and even though its awful to drift, that relationship will be a part of you in some way for the rest of your life.

I am thankful to have such incredible friends and even more thankful that I only have a few BEST ones. Those girls that I know, without a doubt, will be there with me forever. I might not have seen a lot of them for almost a year but I love them so much and am so blessed to have friendships that can stand the distance. We make each other laugh for days, listen to each other's silly problems and really stand by each other when things get tough. We accept each other's weird habits and stupid moments and don't really question it because we understand. Together, we can conquer the world.

I can't wait to see them all in just a few short weeks.

Manda and I are counting down until she can tackle me at the airport...I'm preparing myself.

Brit and I are anxiously awaiting a long overdue sleepover.

Megan and I have a full calendar of events coming up next year...can we do it all?!

Erin and I will be enjoying our American delicacies together and thinking of our homes in Europe.

Nicole and I have so much to catch up on. I can't wait for our date!

I can't wait to see these girls and all my other lovely friends. A year brings a lot of changes: new jobs, new homes, new engagements, travels! We have a lot to catch up on.

Now I just have to convince Ashley to come to Cali!

Thank you girls for being my soul mates and making my life full of fun, excitement, silliness and love and sharing such amazing memories with me. I love you!!!

The truth is...

Sometimes I really just feel like this.

Being an adult is exhausting sometimes, am I right? I miss the simple days of water slides, fort building, Disney movies and the ice cream man.

Who am I kidding? I still watch Disney movies. :)

I hope you all have a lovely and stress free day! And that wherever you are is warmer than this ice age happening in Paris. Bisous!

Happy Thanksgiving from Paris!

This is my first Thanksgiving away from home and probably the only one where I will be able to celebrate with foie gras, French wine, fish and pavlova while teaching my friend from South Africa how to draw her very first "hand" turkey. She needs to know these important life lessons.

I definitely am missing my friends and family back home. Especially when I Facetime with them and they are all together and knowing that even Mike gets to see my family and they get to see his family at the Turkey Trot this morning. It's great to know they are all together but there is a little bit of sadness being away from it.

SO, how do you cope with such a thing? Well, you hop a plane to Madrid to see your best friend. Problemo solved! I need to start packing because I leave tomorrow after work and I am SO insanely excited. I get to see two of my best friends and be a part of this awesome life they have built living in Madrid. I'm also pretty excited just to be in Spain again. (I studied abroad in Barcelona in 2008 and haven't been back til NOW!)

Happy Thanksgiving to all my wonderful American friends and family. I hope you enjoy the day and count your blessing no matter what part of the world you might find yourself in.

Thankful Thoughts Vol. 3: LOVE

As of today I have 5 more weeks left in Paris. Seems like a short amount of time compared to how long I have already been here but it seems like the closer it gets the longer it seems. Why? Because its like running to a finish line, the closer you get the harder it feels and the farther away it seems to be. I don't want to think of the end of Paris as a finish line but I definitely feel like I'm running towards something and not away from Paris. I'm running towards my friends and family and Mike. I'm feeling ready to start the next chapter of my life. (not that I won't miss Paris as soon as I touch down in LA).

My going away party January 2012

Can you believe that it has been almost 8 months since I have seen Mike? I think that is the longest we have ever gone without seeing each other since we met in high school. It has been a crazy and challenging year but I think our relationship has grown and strengthened so much through all the struggles and successes from being long distance. 

Mike's visit to Paris in April 2012

I am definitely ready to be back with him and little Tay. I'm really excited and looking forward to what is next for us and to just be able to be together! Be able to have coffee together, go to a movie, play with Taylor at the park, spend time with our friends and families. It all sounds so wonderful. 

Homecoming circa 2005 muahahaha

I can't tell you all how thankful I am for this relationship. We have been through so many struggles together but have proven them all trivial in comparison to love for each other. He makes me laugh everyday, understands me sometimes more than I even understand myself, supported me moving half way across the world for a year, and really is the other half to my soul.

I am a lucky girl to have found such an incredible relationship and to be able to have watched each other grow up. We've been part of each other's lives since we were 14 and 15 years old and I think that growing up together really gives us a greater understanding of each other. I can not wait to get back to him...8 months is TOO long!!!

So, thank you, Mike. Thank you for supporting me so much and being there through it all. I love you and can not wait to actually see your face (not through a computer screen!). 35 days and counting. 

InstaParis 2

A while back I posted a bunch of my instagram photos of Paris since I had moved here. You all seemed to enjoy it so here is round two!

On Instagram? Follow me @britcampbell09 :)