moving is making me unstable

4 days and I will be walking through LAX to meet my family, Mike, little Tay and Manda. I can't believe it. I've said it before, but its true.

The past week has been crazy. This move has got me feeling like an unstable person. There are all kinds of emotions going on in my life.

view from Pere Lachaise cemetery

In a given day I feel...

HAPPY to go home and see my friends and family
SAD to leave the friends I've made here

HAPPY to be back to the comforts of home
SAD to leave my little Parisian flat

HAPPY to have had this amazing experience
SAD that it is over

HAPPY to start a new future
SAD that the economy is trying to ruin my life and keep me unemployed forever

HAPPY to know that in-n-out in waiting for me
SAD that i won't be able to have pain chocolat and crepes anytime i want

Its a roller coaster to say the least. I'm trying my best to stay calm and reasonable. Any tips on how not to lose it?

And I can't leave this post without wishing a HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my amazing father! He is a great reason to be excited to come home. I can't wait to see you Dad! Joyeux Anniversaire!

I love Kouign Amann

Paris has a delightful array of pastry to try. The chefs are constantly competing with each other to come up with the best croissant or the best new surprising cake. Things can get pretty "innovative" and sometimes it adds up to a disappointment but when you find a pastry chef that does a classic perfectly...well, its lovely.

Kouign Amann has been popping up around the city this winter, probably because its heavy, warm and full of delicious, comforting salted butter. I remember trying one when I first arrived in Paris (not knowing what it was or what to expect) and I didn't really enjoy it. Clearly, I did not know pastry at all then! Because this pastry is so wonderful I just can't live the rest of my life without it. And I think I love them event more because they are a regional pastry from Brenton (aka: Brittany).

Thank goodness for David Lebovitz coming through with a working recipe for me to try when I get home. I take back what I said before, David.

I bought myself some individual kouign amann yesterday so I could treat myself for breakfast today and clearly enjoyed it too much to take a photo for you all. So here are photos from the shop where I bought them. I don't really recommend the shop for his chocolate or anything else (even though he is an MOF) but if you are in the city looking for a treat, stop in and pick up some kouign amann. I recommend the salted caramel. You'll die a little and go to butter heaven. *Heat these babies up in the oven for a few minutes before you eat them and it will be even more amazing.

You're welcome.

Georges Larnicol, MOF
132 Blvd. St. Germain 75006
33 1 43 26 39 38
http://www.chocolaterielarnicol.fr/

*he has many boutiques throughout Paris, this is just one location.

The List: Paris.

Judge me if you want but I love making lists. They keep me organized and I love being able to cross things off them.

So, naturally I made a list of things I am going to miss about Paris and things I will be happy never to experience again and also what I am most excited for back in the good old USA.

Wanna know?? Here is the Paris List.

Things I will NOT miss about Paris:

The smell of PEE. everywhere.

Being confused 90% of the time. Ooh la la, French.

Freezing. All the time.

Being stared at for no reason.

The Parisians. They are a depressed, angry group of people. Just Parisians. Other French people are awesome.

Paying 6 euros for the world's worst cup of coffee.

French banks.

Being worried about people trying to steal my things all the time!

Everything being so small. It's like living in a miniature world.

My laundry taking 2 and a half hours for a normal cycle and then taking two days to hand dry. wtf France..really??

That's not sooo bad..right? Now for the positive!

Things I will miss most about Paris:

The FOOD! Bread, cheese, butter, pastries, wine, paté...all these things will never be the same for me. Ever. I will miss it dearly. This move might be good for my waistline though.

The buildings and architecture. This city is beautiful. Gorgeous. Romantic. Just an average building on any given street can be breathtaking. I will miss walking around and admiring the city and the feel of Paris.

The Seine. I love this river. I will miss running along it and having picnics with friends. I will miss taking photos of it every time I cross it. Its lovely.

The BIG city. I never thought I would love living in a city (Paris is the first city I've ever lived in) but turns out that I love it! It feels good to get out of the city from time to time but I really enjoy the energy and the endless amount of places to explore. You could live here your whole life and never know Paris completely.

The restaurant and culinary scene. The French take their food very seriously. Everything is FRESH and well prepared. The chefs are educated and truly love what they do. I will miss exploring new wine bars, restaurants and pastry shops whenever I want to. I will miss the big outdoor markets that are selling really fresh and wholesome produce. I love feeling like I am part of an industry scene here.

The Eiffel. No denying it. I love eiffel. Its beautiful and breathtaking from all angles. I will miss being able to see it whenever I want to and sometimes when I'm not even trying to.

The ability to travel. Its Europe's best perk.

The street food. Crepes, falafel, sandwiches...yum.

The inspiration that Paris gives to its people. I hope this feeling stays with me. I feel like anything is possible and I have Paris to thank for that.

Paris, je taime.

Thankful Thoughts Vol. 4: Miss Coco Marie

One of the best things about living abroad is that it brings people together. I have spent time with people here in Paris when we never even used to hang out back in California. Its really great to connect with people from your past and also making new friends. Coco is one of those girls. We went to SDSU together and were in all the same class (both hospitality/event majors) but we never became close. When I moved to Paris I got in touch with her for some moving advice and now we spend almost every day together. We had to travel across the world to become such good friends!

Funny how it works, right? 

Well, I am thankful for her and our adventures and I asked her to tell you guys what she is thankful for this holiday season. She has been living in Paris for over 2 and a half years and just made the decision to move her life back home. We are on the same flight back to LAX! So here she is, go check out her blog for more Paris secrets and amazing travel stories!

When Brittany asked me to write a guest post about all that I was thankful for I was excited and then hit with a feeling of worry. Why? Because trying to think of everything I am thankful this year seemed like an overwhelming task. Once I finally forced myself to sit down and crank it out, I was so happy I had time to think about my last year. Life is constantly going to quickly and I think there is less and less time to focus on appreciating what we have.

With this being my third Thanksgiving abroad, I am starting to forget what an awesome holiday Thanksgiving actually is. I mean yeah, of course any holiday that consists of eating all day, at least 3 different desserts, and some serious family time is incredible but Thanksgiving is more than that. It is just what this post has allowed me to do: reflect.

Being an expat is always hard during American holidays, but it is a prime example of one of the things I am most thankful this year: family. I don’t mean only family in the conventional way. When living abroad you are forced to create your own family here because you have nothing else. I have had many “families” while living in France and I am thankful for each one. I couldn’t have survived the hardships of being an au pair with out my fellow cohorts and this year I have found people who share the interests and goals as me (and can relate to our insane lives dealing with the French!)

And of course I am thankful for my actual family. I am SO thankful for Skype, Whatsapp, Heytell, etc. It is not the easiest thing living thousands of miles away but I could have never done this without the constant support of my family. They are truly my strength, cheerleading squad, and support system all wrapped into one!

I am also thankful for the experiences this year brought me. I did the impossible: I found a job in a foreign country, found a flat in the center of Paris, and got a work visa during the reign of Sarkozy. I traveled many new places, learned many new things, and made fabulous new friends. I fell in love over and over again with the wonderful city I could call home.

Although the hardest times of my life happened this year, I am grateful for each and every experience, good and bad. They all have taught me and allowed me to grow. So this Thanksgiving I am most thankful for my experiences over the last year and the people I have been able to share them with. Yeah, I may be giving thanks in a tiny flat instead of with my family and a plate full of turkey, but it doesn't make me any less appreciative this year. I am one lucky girl!

Happy Thanksgiving à tous!

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Thankful Thoughts Vol. 1: Paris

It's November! For real? Where does the time go?!

Fall has actually been treating Paris really well the past week or so. It has been freezing cold but at least the rain has been held to a minimum which I am so happy for! Today I might have been caught in the most intense hail storm I've ever seen (and I mean, i-n-t-e-n-s-e!) but it was fun so I'm not complaining.

So, of course November means it is soon going to be one of America's finest celebrations - Thanksgiving! I'll be spending my first Thanksgiving away from home this year but that doesn't mean I won't be celebrating just the same. We are already planning our feast with pumpkin pie and green bean casserole included.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I will be writing about all the many things I have to be thankful for in my life throughout the month. Some friends will be stopping by to share their happiness with you also. Feeling grateful for things this season? Share your happiness and link up with me or send me an e-mail for a guest post!

Let's state the obvious. I am SO THANKFUL for PARIS! I am in LOVE with Paris. It is the most beautiful place on earth and I really don't think any city can compete. Paris has taught me so much about life, love and myself. I could never repay what I have gained while living here. Paris is inspiring.

Paris has given me the memories of a lifetime. It taught me how to live life.

It taught me about food. 

It taught me how to eat. 

It guided me to my passion. 

It brought me amazing new friends. 

It showed me how to slow down and how important it is to find joy each and every day and in everything. 

It made me thankful for America and a place and people to call home.

It shows me beautiful things every day.

It reminds me to enjoy myself and indulge in life.

It taught me about quality.

It taught me that time is precious and life is fleeting.

It showed me that change is good. and inevitable.
It reminds me how incredible life is and how big and beautiful our world is.
It taught me about all the little pleasures in life and how those little things add up to be the big things.

Paris is a part of me now. This place fills me up, makes my heart swell. It has changed me, inspired me and I will never quite be the same again. Paris truly is a moveable feast and I am SO THANKFUL that I came to the table.

Merci pour tout, Paris.

<3

Time Flies

This year has been an adventure. One of the greatest years of my life I am sure of that. It has been full of excitement, challenges, new friends, old friends, love, FUN, traveling, pastry and so much more and it is about to start coming to a close. I can't believe it.

Sometimes it feels like I just arrived here and others it feels like I've been here for ages! It really depends on the day (I'm sure you other expats can relate to that feeling). I have less than two months left in France and it is getting to the point where I am trying to start really planning for my life back in the states. There is so much to do and not enough time to deal with it all, especially form another country.

Photo from my very first day in Paris

I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about moving home. Some days I am so excited to be back with my friends and family and in a comfortable place but other days I wonder how I could ever leave a place like Paris? I'm sure this is a normal thought process at this point but its not always the best feeling. I have accomplished, seen and experienced so much this year but I am always thinking of all the other places I want to see and things I want to do..but lets be honest - that list goes on for DAYS! I just want to do, see and eat everything possible! :)

I've never been good with goodbyes so I know saying farewell to Paris will be heartbreaking but I also know I have amazing things and people waiting for me at home. Paris truly is a moveable feast and I know it will stay with me for the rest of my life. I will always carry this city and this experience in my heart. But for now, I will try to indulge as much as possible for the next 8 weeks! (AH!...scary)

Ferrandi pastry class!

One thing I am very excited about it my upcoming trip to MADRID next month! Two of my best friends live there and I can not wait to spend Thanksgiving weekend with them! I have also loved Spain since I studied abroad in Barcelona in 2008 so I am very excited to go back and stuff my face with patatas bravas and sangria for days.

Granada, Spain circa 2008

Wondering what my plan is for life back in the good old US of A? Let's just say I won't be escaping the cold for too long. After a month of family time in the best place in America - California - I will be moving to Denver to be with Mike and Tay again.

Anyone know anything about the Denver area? I'm clueless!!

my loves

First Half Marathon - Check!

I am happy to report that I have survived my very first half marathon today! I can't believe it is over and that I didn't perish! It was such a great experience and I feel great about accomplishing one of my goals.

I started out feeling pretty good and keeping a good pace but of course as the miles passed it kept getting harder and harder. By mile 11 I was really struggling and trying to mentally push myself through to the end. Crossing the finish line was such a good feeling even though I felt like I was about to fall over my own two feet with my legs made out of jelly.

My time was 1 hour 58 minutes and I was really happy with that! My goal was to make it under 2 hours and I did just that! I couldn't help but laugh to myself when I found that part of the race was through the cobblestone streets and at the end I was rewarded with a baguette - only in France!

Big thanks to my supporters! I'm lucky to have such great friends!


Now it is time for recovery which might be as hard as the race. Is it normal for my ribs/stomach/lungs to be aching so badly?!

Have any of you run any races or accomplished any goals lately?
You runners have any recovery advice for me?

Ah, now off to the sweet dreams of advil pm induced sleep. Excited.

Dinner at Benoit

Who knew that Paris had restaurant week? "Tous au restaurant" is the French version and I am so happy that my friend told me about it in time to make a reservation at one of the city's oldest bistros. Benoit has been serving great French food since 1912 as a family restaurant until they passed it onto the world renowned chef Alain Ducasse in 2005 and he promised to stay true to their traditions while bringing Benoit into its future.

As you walk in you are taken back in time to an older Paris. It is beautiful, warm and cozy with the most amazing china I've ever seen. The service was lovely (rare in Paris!) and every single thing we ate was perfect. That includes the massive slab of butter that we devoured completely. We have no shame!

Thank goodness for the two for one prices during this special week because otherwise my poor little self would not have got to experience such a great and classically French meal in this city. Mmm, I love Paris!

Flowers of Giverny, France

I was not lying when I said I needed to have a whole separate post for all my flower photos. It is slightly out of control. So here it is!

Hopefully you will feel like you've been there after all of these photos. It really is a beautiful place if you ever have the chance to visit.

As for me, I am having a wonderful weekend here with one of my greatest friends and her huz. Life is so much better with the people you love! They head to Barcelona tomorrow and I'll be so sad to see her leave but I know they will have a blast in Spain!