It is gaping. I have a stomach ache of emotions. It feels icky.
Truth is, I sometimes feel like people are mocking me. That they think this is all a joke, some fluke decision to do something exciting. It is disappointing and pretty hard not to take it personally. I am trying to harness that into more motivation to kick major ass over there and prove to people that this is real and I will be successful.
Looking at the next two months, it makes me sick to see how fast they will fly by. I have to consciously tell myself not to over think things. I am the girl who will freak out about all the "lasts". Last trip to the bay with Taylor, last late night Frostie's run for ice cream, last night in the apartment...blah blah. The list could go on forever.
Bottom line is, I have to stay positive and motivated and take everything in stride. One year will fly by and I will be back and armed with some wicked pastry skills before I know it.