There is a Hole in my Stomach

It is gaping. I have a stomach ache of emotions. It feels icky.

I knew it wouldn't be all fun and games when I decided to move away. I mean, come on, I have a good life going on here and it is ALL changing. Let me remind you that I have a strained and terrible relationship with change. We are pretty much enemies. I hate change, always have. So needless to say, this is a huge challenge for me. I really feel deep down that I am making the right decision and I know I have to remind myself of that and try to stay positive and motivated but it is difficult sometimes. Not everyone is on board, there are stressful decisions to make, emotions are high.

Truth is, I sometimes feel like people are mocking me. That they think this is all a joke, some fluke decision to do something exciting. It is disappointing and pretty hard not to take it personally. I am trying to harness that into more motivation to kick major ass over there and prove to people that this is real and I will be successful.

Looking at the next two months, it makes me sick to see how fast they will fly by. I have to consciously  tell myself not to over think things. I am the girl who will freak out about all the "lasts". Last trip to the bay with Taylor, last late night Frostie's run for ice cream, last night in the apartment...blah blah. The list could go on forever.

Bottom line is, I have to stay positive and motivated and take everything in stride. One year will fly by and I will be back and armed with some wicked pastry skills before I know it.